A Seasoned Writer

The weather is warm, the flowers are fragrant, and the rabbits are nesting in my backyard. Which is better the rabbits than the poison ivy climbing the fence.  Every year as summer approaches, I feel as antsy as a dog when he sees you with his leash.  What is is about summer that even as an adult I get so excited about?  It has a Je ne sais quoi.   I just feel like grabbing a notebook and a pen and sitting out under the sun while I write. 

Do you have a favorite writing season?

Cake Pops Gone Wrong- And What They Have to Do With Writing

Baseball cake pops, courtesy of I was just thinking...

Nailed it.

So, ever since I found out that I would be in charge of my son's Little League baseball team snacks after the game on his birthday, I just knew that I had to make baseball cake pops. So cute, so simple, so perfect, right?

Yeeeeah.

It seemed simple enough: make cake balls. Skewer with stick. Dip in white chocolate. Prop up to let cool. Pipe on red stitching.

Yeeeeah. Not so much.

Something strange happened when I was melting the chocolate- I think there's something off with the temp setting on the burner I was using- and it just started clumping (btw, there was no water in it- I know that's the usual culprit of melting mishaps, but I was very careful). When I skewered the cake balls and tried to dip them, they started falling off the sticks (yes, I had chilled them ahead of time- didn't seem to help). My "propping-up" technique was a disaster, and the pops kept falling over and running into each other and, again, falling off the sticks (I know, I should have used a block of styrofoam like recommended). 

Long story short(er): It was an epic fail. My baseball cake pops turned into strange, flat-topped, impaled  snowballs. I wanted to either cry or throw my hideous little snowblobs at something. I was dreading telling my son that, alas, there would be no baseball cake pops after all. Chips and Capri Suns would have to do for the post-birthday-game snack. But then, in all my melted misery, I grabbed one of the stupid things and put it in my mouth. And man, was it good. It may have been the ugliest treat ever made, but it was downright delicious.

My heart lifted just a little.

I decided that I didn't care if they were homely. They were awesome! So what if they weren't going to be my perfect little baseball pops? Maybe nobody would have to know they were supposed to be baseballs. These were a bunch of 6- and 7-year-old boys. They eat dirt. They don't care if I'm Martha Stewart. Their mouths can't tell the difference between unsightly clumps of cake on a stick and red-piped cake pops. They just want to be fed.

So I stuck them with sticks, dripped some clumpy chocolate on them, and turned them upside down on waxed paper in the freezer. I figured as long as they made it to the game and into little mouths, I'd call it good. 

And you know what? My son didn't care. He said, "Thanks, Mom!" and devoured one. I had to grab the stick away before he wolfed that down too.

So what does this have to do with writing? Well, if we let our inner Martha Stewarts (or J.K. Rowlings or Stephenie Meyers or Suzanne Collins-es) dictate our writing, it will never be good enough and we'll end up with chips instead of cake pops. The delete button on our computers will start filing for overtime pay and our WIPs will get stuck in our mires of self-doubt.

It's time to embrace the hideous, people!

Your first draft will be ugly. It will be a misshapen snowball at the end of a stick. 

But it will still taste good.

The point is to feed those hungry, craving mouths that want a good story, to make something delicious, even if it isn't pretty. There will be time to make it pretty later. Just get it out of your head and onto the page. 

The End.

Simplify Your Life

Happy Mother's Day!

  How many of you feel like you are a candidate for the Mother of the Year award? How many of you feel like in the midst of all the hectic business of life and the stressed words that were expressed at our children and loved ones you go to bed feeling like the day was a loss or a failure? There have been plenty of nights when both of us have gone to bed wondering what we could have done better. There is an amazing talk by President Uchtdorf titled "Of Things That Matter Most" given in 2010 that can give us hope and guidance. In it he talks about the pace of our modern lives and the benefit of slowing down and steadying the course and focusing on the essentials.

  We all have so much to do, with all our dishes and laundry, the vacuuming...and much more. And then there are things like Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and all the other apps and games or other social networks out there that sometimes it hard to focus on the things that matter most.

"Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives." Pres. Uchtdorf

  Sometimes it can be hard to decide what should go on our to do list. It can be even harder to prioritize all those things. There have been many times when I will be in the middle of a chore and one or both of my girls will ask me to come dance with them, or read a book, or play some game. I always feel torn between getting my chores done, the things I feel need to get done, and spending precious time with my little girls. Most of the time I will tell them I need to finish, because I feel its important that my girls realize that we can't always play, that there does come a time when we need to work. (I also feel these are prime opportunities to teach my girls how to do certain jobs and chores)  but there are other times when I see that pleading little twinkle in their beautiful eyes that I remember something my own mom has told me many times. "The dishes will still be there, the laundry can wait, but your children wont always be there, and they can't stop growing in order to wait for you to enjoy this time with them." In these instances I stop what I'm doing and I go play with my girls. I like to believe those are the memories that they will take through life with them, that "Mom would stop and play with me."

"Printed material, wide-ranging media sources, electronic tools and gadgets—all helpful if used properly—can become hurtful diversions or heartless chambers of isolation." Pres. Uchtdorf

  There are other things in our lives that have become more prevalent the last few years that can be huge distractions. Let me just say, I don't think distractions are a "BAD" thing. Sometimes we ALL need a little distraction to keep us from completely going crazy. However, it is important to keep those things in check, and not let them rule our lives. We can't let them become a priority over the things that are truly important in our lives.

“We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.” Elder Oaks

  As we go through our days there are things that NEED to get done. Each of us has the same allotted time, we each have 24 hours in which we have to accomplish all of our tasks. So, which are the things that we can do without? We mentioned Facebook and Pinterest and some other things that can take up a lot of our time. At times we tend to let these things monopolize our lives. So many women (and men) use these "tools" to compare themselves to others, which often times leads to feeling inadequate. Another down side to obsessing over the computer or any electronic device, is, at least in our cases, our children tend to misbehave a lot more when our attention is so riveted on a screen. Again, we're not saying these things are BAD, they are just things that we need to keep in balance and not allow them to get out of control or take up time that should be used for something else.

  We have a challenge for you. We challenge you to for at least one day (maybe more if you can) turn off the TV and the computer, put down your iPad, or any other device you may have and take out some of those distractions. The challenge isn't so much about turning things off as much as it is REPLACING those things with more simple things, the things that build you up and can help revitalize you. Since most of you readers are writers you could print off your WIP the day before and then for your "unplugged" day simply use a pencil. If any of you participate in this challenge we would love to hear about your experience. There is a little story in the talk we have been quoting that we found humorous and fitting.

..it wasn’t long after astronauts and cosmonauts orbited the earth that they realized ballpoint pens would not work in space. And so some very smart people went to work solving the problem. It took thousands of hours and millions of dollars, but in the end, they developed a pen that could write anywhere, in any temperature, and on nearly any surface. But how did the astronauts and cosmonauts get along until the problem was solved? They simply used a pencil.

  We have so much technology in our modern day lives that we have grown to depend on it so we feel like we need it at our finger tips all the time. But if we step back for a moment we may realize that much of this technology is only creating more stress and clutter in our lives than necessary. It doesn't matter what the world thinks of us. It doesn't matter if we have as many pins on Pinterest as our friends do, or as many pictures on Facebook of fun vacations and parties. It doesn't matter how many "likes" we get on our statuses. We should give little notice to things like this and instead focus on the things that uplift us and build up our foundation in the gospel.

  We have a divine role as mothers to set an example for our children and teach them about the things that give true value to our lives. It is also our duty to unlock their own divine potential. In doing this, our children become our greatest cheerleaders and in turn help us to be better mothers.

  Last week I (Jessica) made a birthday cake for my youngest daughter's birthday. This was a slightly stressful task because I have never taken any cake classes and I was just flying by the seat of my pants. I kept worrying about whether or not it would look right, and just the way I envisioned it. As I was applying the first layer of icing (the "dirty icing" which is just plain white icing) my oldest daughter was standing near and kept gasping and exclaiming, "Mom, you're doing a great job!" or "Mom, that is so beautiful!" It wouldn't matter if this cake turned out looking nothing like I envisioned because my girls would think it was perfect, and that is what truly matters.

  When I (Ashley) take the dog on a walk, I put my younger 2 children in a double jogging stroller, and my oldest rides his bike along side. The other day, I decided to pick up the pace a bit and jog part of the way home. The dog thought this was great and began to pull on the leash wanting to go even faster. The runner I am not kept screaming inside at me to STOP! But I had this little voice next me on his bike who kept saying, "You can go faster Mom!" and "I know you can run all the rest of the way!" My little cheerleader, he inspired me to keep going. I didn't run all the way home, but I felt pretty darn good knowing my little guy has faith in me and didn't want me to quit. I think I need to jog with him more often!

 These are the people who's opinions matter, and they think we are Super Moms. So we should go to bed at night feeling like a super mom.

  We feel that way about our own mother. Growing up, we both truly believed that none of our friends had cleaner houses than we did. Our laundry was always done. Even if you needed that work shirt that you wore the night before, you could come home from school to find it hanging in your closet. But this wasn't all. Our childhoods are filled with afternoons of flashcards, spelling quizzes, and stories. Every time we left that school project to the last minute, Mom was there to stay up with you until it was done. I will always remember the banana Mom drew on the cover of my report on Ecuador. Our shelves in our homes today have many books on them that are worn and tattered from being read so many times throughout our childhoods. But we keep them because they hold so many fond memories of reading together with Mom. She taught us how to clean and cook, but will always be the first to tell us that the cleaning can wait, our children are more important. Our mom truly is Super Mom, we love you!

  You may find yourself asking what makes a good mother. We answer you with a quote from Pres. Uchtdorf's talk:

...in short, they focus on the things that matter most.

Top 10 Things You Need to Thank Your Mother For

Welcome to the Saturday So What: Mother's Day Edition.

So What have I learned in my adventures in motherhood? That we all need to get down on our knees and thank and/or apologize to our own mothers. With Mother's Day tomorrow, I saw the perfect opportunity. Without further ado here is my Top 10 things you need to thank and/or apologize to your mother for.

10. Letting you take up residence in her body for nine months, making renovations to it, and then vacating after X amount of hard labor - without leaving a security deposit for the damage.

9. The roughly 5 years worth of accumulative hours sleep lost while rocking/ staying up/ caring for the sick/ and worrying over you.

8. The agony she felt when she realized, Yes, she sounds just like her mother.

7. At least 3 years worth of diaper changes, not to mention the middle of the night accidents there after.

6. Making sure you brushed your teeth so that today you are not eating corn through a straw.

5. Forcing you to do your homework and learn your ABC's so that you can enjoy this blog and your successful writing career ahead.

4. Giving you plenty of things to use as comic relief and character drama in your stories. (Because let's face it, perfectly adjusted people make lousy writers)

3. Not letting you go out with the bad boy of your dreams. At midnight. On a motorcycle. Without a helmet.

2. Holding you when you cried about boy from number 3 breaking your heart.

And the number one thing we should all thank our mothers for.....

1. Knowing all of this ahead of time, and still choosing us anyway.

Thanks mom, I love you.

Thanks for reading everyone. Join me on my other blogs.
 Finished Being Fat and Betsy Schow-Writer/Mom/Weight Loss Survivor. 

What I learned Watching Castle

First, a disclaimer. I do NOT watch television to be instructed or even enlightened. I watch TV to be entertained. I don't even watch TV, actually, but TV shows on my computer.

But here's the thing: Heavenly Father will reach out to you in whatever way will work, especially when He has something important to share.

Lately, I've been struggling with writers' blues. Not the oh-I-got-a-bad-review or I-have-incurable-writer's-block type, but the I-can't-ever-be-good-enough-why-try-I-want-to-quit-writing variety. And it's been serious.

I've been here before, and I know it's my calling in this life--beyond family and children. I can't give up. No matter how many times I may want to. But it's just been really hard to dump this funk. Weeks. Months. I have some highs where I think I'm coming out of it, and then some crashing lows where I wonder if the writer in me is bi-polar. Or schizophrenic. Being a writer is HARD. We each have demons we face every day. And I hate to say it, but some days the demons win.

Back to television. I love the show, Castle, but this season has been really hard to watch. Lots of stupid misunderstandings, characters missing the hints, hurt feelings, and some lame storylines have made me wonder why I keep watching. And I've been pretty hard on the writers.

Then I watched the season finale. Blew. Me. Away.

As I lay in bed that night, I started thinking. (You know how it is, sometimes the only quiet time you get as a mom is when everyone else is asleep) It was like the whole season was a set up for the finale. The finale that rocked. The finale that brought everything together in a wonderful, exciting way and culminated in viewer success. Like the writers were just saying this whole season, "Wait for it. There's something better just around the corner."

And I thought, isn't that what God does for us? We're slogging through the mire in a difficult time, feeling down and thinking it's never going to get better. But He's up there saying, "Wait for it. There's something wonderful just around the corner."

I'm sharing this because I know I'm not the only one who feels down, or like a failure, or like I just can't ever be good enough. I can throw some cliches at you (we at MMW love cliches, after all ;)) like "Tough times don't last; tough people do" or "It's going to get better" but, honestly, deep down we all know that. What I do want to say is that you are NOT alone. And that I KNOW God has something really wonderful in store for you. So hang in there.

Hush, Hush, Be Still

As I walked to the school with the kids yesterday to pick up my daughter from school, we passed a young woman lying on the grass beside a bus stop.  She had her legs stretched out comfortably in front of her, feet crossed at the ankles, head propped up against her backpack, and a book pressed lovingly against her heart with both hands. 

The book - Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick, was not what caught my attention (though it did remind me that it's on my to read list).  It was the expression on her face, and the soft sigh that escaped her lips.

In the midst of a busy neighborhood, with the schoolyard shrieks of children and the honking of impatient drivers, this girl was lost in the world of story.

from calgarypubliclibrary.com

As writers, it's not really about the money (which would be nice), or the fame (which might not really be that nice), or the fandom (which would be nice).

It's about capturing the reader, in that moment, with our story.

The moment where they lay back in the warm spring sunshine and sigh, the graceful exhale of euphoria.

The moment where they become so immersed in our book that they forget the world moving all around them...

...hush, hush...

...just for a moment.

Rev Your Engines...

So last year we did something we'd never done before. We held a contest for short stories based on the theme "Totally Cliche`". Then we went through the process of creating first an ebook (which is still available, by the way) and then a trade paperback of it (which is also still available). We showed you the sometimes complicated process, and hopefully it was as informative to you as it was to us. It was so much fun, we decided to do it again!!!
We learned a lot last year putting the book together. And we hope we can use that knowledge to make this year's book that much better. 
One thing we learned is that our theme last year was maybe too narrow, as was our submission window. So we've changed that. Our new theme is broader, and hopefully will include more of our readership. Our theme this year is (drum roll please......) 

 "Mormon" "Mommy" or "Writer". 

You can choose to write on ONE aspect or any combination of the three. Or include all three. 

And to add to the changes, we've decided to include not only fictional short stories of up to 4000 words, but personal essays (think "Chicken Soup" type stories), AND  poetry!!!! (Hopefully your poems aren't 4000 words.)

 The contest will be open June 1st to July 31st. So start prepping...rev your writing engines...

We'll share more details as the the time gets closer, but we wanted to let you know what was in the works. We're so excited to hold this new contest! It's gonna be GREAT!!!! But only if you submit. WE NEED YOUR SUBMISSIONS! DON'T BE SHY!!! Okay. Screaming done. :) 

Not Now, Mommy's Busy

If any of you haven't heard, mother's day is coming up.  It makes me think a lot about the challenges and blessings of being a mom.  I have two wonderful children.  My five-year-old daughter's urgent "I love you"'s randomly announced always warm my heart.  And my one-year-old son's bouncing dance to any and all music makes me appreciate life more.  I am blessed beyond compare; unfortunately, sometimes I forget this.  There are so many things I want, need, and should be doing.  It is easy to think that I will be able to do fun things with my children when I am not busy.

I will always be busy, but my children will not always want me for tea parties and trips to the park.  I will miss the special moments of watching them discover the world for the first time.  I am certain that my daughter interprets, "Not right now, let me finish this first," to mean, "No, and don't ask again."

When I think of Mother's Day, I often wish for a day off.  I am not even certain what that means.  I think this year instead of striving for a day to myself, I will use mother's day as a day to show both of my kids that they are the reason I am I mother,  and let them know that I am lucky to have them.

Hackles, Hooks, and Other Wonderful Words

For today's post I just wanted to share an example with you of what I believe to be wonderful, fun, expressive, amazing writing. This excerpt is from Love Walked In by Maria de los Santos, and maybe it's because I can relate to her writing "voice" so much (well, the voice she uses for this character), or maybe it's the message she's conveying here, or maybe it's both, but I just love this passage:

Parenthood chooses you. And you open your eyes, look at what you've got, say "Oh, my gosh," and recognize that of all the balls there ever were, this is the one you should not drop. It's not a question of choice.

Before you get your political hackles up- and I like those hackles; they're fine hackles, I have a set myself- I should clarify that I'm not talking about choice as we ordinarily use the word. Not Choice as in Pro-. I'm talking about post-choice, the embodied baby, the done deal, the child trailing clouds of glory, etcetera. And, of course, because I see said hackles rising again, I know there are plenty of people with done deals who are smart and brave enough to recognize that they need to thrust parenthood upon someone else, someone with more resources. I'm not talking about those people or taking them to task. If I'm taking anyone to task, and apparently I am, it's those people who have the material resources (and then some; if you can afford a penthouse, more than one signed and numbered Edward Weston photo, and a Mies Van der Rohe chaise, you can afford a child, yes?); who are grown-up; who are in splendid, chiseled, glowing, shockingly handsome health; and who are in all ways suited not to be let off the hook.

I'm talking about Martin. Obviously, Martin. Because as his eleven-year-old daughter slept the sleep of the spent and brokenhearted in the next room, in a strange bed, Martin sat next to me on the couch and said, "I'm just not cut out to be someone's parent. I never was," neatly lifting himself off the hook, without so much as a wrinkle in his English custom-tailored shirt.

Do you have a favorite passage from a book that inspires you to be a better writer? I'd love for you to share! :-)

Grab the Rope

We had another post planned for this week, but I liked yesterday's post so much that I wanted to take a few minutes to comment.

I like the story Betsy shared, and her comments on using what the Lord blesses us with to help ourselves. I'm not really waiting for that rescue in my writing (as sister co-writers, we kind of rely on each other for that). But it did make me really think.

The past several months, each time I have received a priesthood blessing, there has been one phrase that has been said each time and it would confuse me every time. A few months ago, I received a new calling that would require a lot of organization, keeping others on track, and service. I felt overwhelmed as I began my new duties. I have struggled to feel that I am doing even the bare minimum to fill this calling, like I have not been serving those who need me right now. I was also, I admit, not getting in my visiting teaching each month. Many nights I would go to bed thinking of all the things I didn't do that people were counting on me for, including putting in my share of time on our WIP.

Recently I was given another blessing, and there it was again, this phrase, this commandment if you will. "Let others help you." I am just stubborn I guess, but I really felt that I didn't know who I was supposed to receive help from when I wasn't doing my part on so many levels. Then, this past month, our family has been in a situation in which we have needed help. It seemed that one financial requirement after another, from the computer breaking, the dog needing shots, the van needing breaks, husband needing gear for work, ect. And it all comes at a time when my husband is out of town for a month, except on weekends. It came to a point where we honestly did not know what we were going to do and we were getting really worried. Then, one thing at a time started to happen, little things came into our lives that have greatly eased our burden. We have been blessed by many people who have given and sacrificed in many ways simply so we can have what we need for our family. After one particular visit, during which we had to put aside our pride and accept the help we knew we badly needed, the thought came to me, "Let others help you." And I knew this was my answer.

We may not know why we go through our trials at the time, but if we have that faith, the Lord will provide our boat or helicopter. Just like Betsy said, we need to keep our eyes peeled and grab that rope. I know my experience has definitely taught me that my pride can get in the way of the Lord trying to bless my life. And it gets in the way of others being able to receive blessings as well. When others want to serve us, sometimes we think, "No, I don't need to be served, I need to serve." But everyone needs an opportunity to serve, and we each need to take our turn to be on the receiving end. The thought keeps coming to me that there may be some opportunity for me to serve in the future which I will only understand because I have been through these trials in my own life. I will be eternally grateful for all those who have thrown that rope to us.

Thank you Betsy for your thoughts and inspiration.