Friday, October 24, 2014

Just Rewards

 
Have you ever wondered why it seems so easy for many authors to maneuver the Perils of Publishing with such ease?  I often feel like some Angel of Literacy has taken some authors by the hand and walked them through the entire process and gently set them down in a comfy chair at a book signing tour, with a hundred eager readers already waiting in line to get their pre-paid copy autographed.  I’ve worked tirelessly at this craft; you’ve worked endlessly to create and revise; we’ve massaged our foreheads from the laptop key indentations when we were following a vein of inspiration late into the night and lapsed into unconsciousness.  Where are OUR just rewards? 

When I was 15 years old, I was invited to attend a very special camping trip.  Every young man in our Stake that had earned his Eagle Scout award during the previous year was invited to attend a three-day camping trip.  This may not seem like the perfect punctuation to years of earning merit badges and trying not to roll around in too much poison ivy, but you see, we would all be riding…horses.  I learned a lot on this trip about ‘just rewards’.


I don’t know what romantic notions ya’ll have about venturing into the wilderness, eating meager rations stashed in one’s backpack, and trimming the callouses and lancing the blisters formed from too many miles hiking in the same pair of soggy boots, but the idea of riding through the beautiful desert landscape of Arizona filled me to the brim with cowboy ‘YeeHaw!’  I had finally graduated to mountain man status, to gently lead my noble stead over hill and down dale until we reached old man Reeves’s ranch (complete with crabapple orchard) where we would rub down our horses, lean back against our dismounted saddles, and stare at the crackling fire while reminiscing about our days of Scouting. 

For the most part the trip was idealic for us boys; a crusty trail boss that had spent more time around horses that my heart had beat thus far in my lifetime; bacon-wrapped fillet mignon and all the beans and Dutch oven cornbread we could stuff into our cheeks; and one-one time with one of the finest animals the good Lord ever created. 

We learned the proper way to shoe our horses, we had epic crabapple fights at the ranch corral, we learned to endure a dusty trail, and we gave thanks each night in prayer for the Lord letting us find our ‘cowboy self’. 

But, like most group dynamics, there always seems to be that one guy, that one person, who just refuses to fall in line with the spirit of the whole experience.  There’s always that one person who refuses to comply, refuses to obey, has to always do things their way, or worse, no way.  They try to go it alone.  Today, that one person is easily identified as being the first person kicked off of the island.  They make everyone uncomfortable because they don’t seem to follow the unwritten rules of the group.  When it’s a young person, this is the kid who you see being pulled aside by an adult because their ‘look at me’ behaviors are having the desired effect.

On our horseback outing, we had such a young man.  He refused to pay attention to the trail boss when we were being taught how to properly saddle our horses; he seemed to wander off just at the moment he was supposed to be helping with KP duties after mealtime; he most certainly wasn’t “…helpful, friendly, courteous, and kind” as a portion of the Scout Law states.  When he was away from the group, we questioned his actually earning his Eagle Scout award because, after the many life changing experiences that occurred on the way to earning this prestigious award, surely some goodness must have rubbed off on him.

In the saddle, he was a holy terror.  If the trail boss had been allowed to bring his gun, I’m almost certain he would have fired a few rounds in this boy’s direction.  The boy yelled at the poor animal when it wouldn’t respond to his wishes.  He was constantly reminded that, yes, the horse had to be watered and fed before the humans got to eat.  And heaven help the Scout who tried to reach out a brotherly hand of support and encouragement.  It was briskly swatted away, either by word or by deed.  This young man demonstrated the worst attributes of a Scout and a young man that I had ever seen.  What a tragedy.
 
But I am a personal witness that Heaven keeps score.  Indeed, there are times when ‘just rewards’ are meted out to those that, metaphorically or literally, need a good swat on the behind.

It was the morning of our last day of the outing.  We were exhausted and dirty, but supremely happy with our accomplishments and the steps we’d taken towards manhood during the trip.  We were saddling our horses one last time for the ride to the base camp where the horse trailers were parked waiting for their four-legged passengers.  We were all cinching up our saddles and coaxing our horses to accept the bridles bits we were offering them.  But our challenging friend was impatient to get going.  He jammed the bit in his horse’s mouth.  He slammed the saddle down on his horse’s back.  He punched the horse in its back left flank because it kept trying to turn in circles.  His actions were definitely putting a dark cloud over the finale of our trip. 

But then, suddenly, the horse did something that I shall never forget.  I know it did it on purpose because that horse was smiling when it did it, and I’ll swear on a stack of chuck wagon cookbooks in any court of cowboy justice.  When the boy was throwing his most ugly tantrum that horse simply moved his front left hoof about a foot to its left and stood right on the boy’s foot.  At that moment, the clouds parted above and a warm ray of sunshine shone down upon that little miracle.  As the boy hooted and hollered that he was being murdered by his equine, his horse stood there, unmoving, in regal splendor.  We all looked at each other and smiled, trying very hard to stifle the laughs that were threatening to burst forth.  Even the old trail boss purposefully took his sweet ol’ time walking over to get the horses hoof off of the boy’s foot.    
                                                                              

Needless to say, the boy was sufficiently humbled.  He remained quiet and compliant the rest of the trip, occasionally wiping away a tear.   We later found out that his foot was just fine, but his ego would take a bit longer to heal.

My point in sharing this story is to remind all of us that there really are ‘just rewards’ meted out.  They come in two forms: Either they are consequences eventually handed out to the antagonists around us, who we perceive as always getting the easy road forward when we have to claw our way around and over every obstacle; and, they are handed out to those who have been valiant and long-suffering on their path forward, playing by the rules, lifting another along the way.


To all of us who are still trying to write that next “great American novel”; fear not, we will someday get our ‘just rewards’.  

Thursday, October 23, 2014

How to Win NaNoWriMo

by Katy White

Autumn is my favorite time of year, what with the holidays, the fact that I can FINALLY wear boots and scarves and sweaters without getting my sweat on *gnashes teeth at Phoenix* and, just as important as the rest of the list, the fact that it's time for NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month.

I loved the experience last year so much that I tried it again for my own personal Camp NaNo this summer and found it equally enjoyable. If you're unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, several of us posted about this event last year (and the year before, and the year before, etc.), and we covered things from Plotting for Pantsers, to a reminder that first drafts are meant to suck (complete with quotes from famous authors), to general tips, and more. But essentially, it's a time of year where writers all around the world band together and try to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November.

So today, I'd like to write about my limited, but fabulous, experience with NaNo.

Tip I: Before November 1st, the most important thing you can do, in my mind, is prepare in advance. I use Scrivener to organize my writing and to house my outline (if I've done one, and more and more I'm finding that it doesn't suck out my soul to have a beat sheet (seriously, check out Save the Cat Beat Sheets. They're unbelievably helpful)), and to organize my research on locations/floor plans/character descriptions and psych profiles/etc. I'm super visual, so I need to understand everything about the characters and world I'm writing, even if the character is based on my sister and it's set in a city I used to live in.

Tip II: Take a month-long Facebook fast (or whatever social media is your poison). And, if you don't mind the pressure of follow-up questions like "When do I get to read it" and the subsequent lecture on the publishing industry such questions require you give, tell people why you'll be absent all November. However, if you don't want people up in your business, just make up a religious holiday. We're (mostly) Mormon. It'll make you sound holier. ;)

Okay. With that done, here's a glimpse into the mental state I'll be assuming in a few short days (told in the style of Bridget Jones):

-Write.
-Write more.
-Must stop deleting sentences and write, already.
-Letting toddler chat and play in crib for 10 extra minutes after waking from nap is sign of v. good, v. balanced mother. AM NOT A BAD PERSON!
-Hmm, is it "lay, laid, laid" and "lie, lay, lain"? Let's go to Grammar Girl...NO. Must not get off task. Will fix in revisions. Must write more words.
-Mmm. Diet Pepsi is v. v. good friend. Maybe best friend. Should write Diet Pepsi a thank you note. Should purchase thank you notes. And more Diet Pepsi. Wait, no. Should write more.
-Saving Mini Eggs in freezer since Easter really was brilliant use of storage space. Must remember to tell husband about need for additional freezer for next year...
-Waking up half hour early to write every day. Am She-Ra, Princess of Power.
-Hmm. Is that really how to spell guard? Guard guard guard guard guard guard. No, cannot be right. Spell check broken. Must Google "How to fix spell check". NO. STAY ON TASK.
-Writey-writey-write.

:)

Good luck to all of you doing NaNo this year! If you have any real tips, please share them below!


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Nine Unexpected Benefits of Being a Mormon

by Anna Jones Buttimore

When someone is baptised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they do it because they have come to truly know that Jesus is the Christ, and they have repented and turned to Him. As they covenant to follow Him for the rest of their lives, they gain the healing power of the atonement and forgiveness of their sins, their lives are forever enriched, and they have the promise of fullness of joy and eternal life with their loved ones to cherish.

That's a pretty big benefit to gain from the simple step of walking into a font filled with water.

There are several other benefits which might be quite unexpected however. While these don't apply to everyone, here are some major advantages I have found to belonging to the "Mormon" church.

1. An Enhanced Social Life


Ten years ago I moved into a new home in a new area and threw a housewarming party. I invited the neighbours, the parents I had met at the school gate, and the local ward members.

One of those schoolmums later admitted that she had attended my housewarming party because she felt sorry for me. I'd only lived in the town for a couple of weeks, and she was concerned that I might sit all night in an empty house staring forlornly at the punch bowl. Instead, half the ward turned up and my house was packed to the rafters with welcoming well-wishers, most of whom had brought a gift. And there was no punch bowl.

One of the great advantages of being a Latter-day Saint is that wherever in the world you go there's a happy crowd of people eager to get to know you and help you settle in, and ready to love you and welcome you to their social circle.

2. Public Speaking

Many people are terrified of public speaking, but not lifelong Latter-day Saints. Almost as soon as they can talk they will be going up to a podium in front of hundreds of people to give a talk, a presentation or a lesson. Because there is no paid ministry in the church, everyone contributes, everyone gets a regular opportunity to speak in Sacrament meeting or give a lesson. Speaking to a large crowd of people becomes almost second nature.

3. Friends all over the World

LDS missionaries (of which there are currently 88,000 worldwide) are sent out from across the globe to places far from home. That means you get to meet a lot of missionaries who have come from a long way away. In the last year alone we have had missionaries in our ward from Albania, Holland, Hong Kong, China, Thailand, Brazil and of course America. I'm still in touch with many of them through Facebook, and seeing posts by those who have gone home gives me insight into their lives and the cultures they come from. It's great when discussing far away places to be able to say, often, "I've got a friend who lives there."

4. Help when you need it

Our ward is fairly large for the UK, with average sacrament meeting attendance of just over 100. Among the congregation we have three electricians, two hairdressers, two carpenters, a tree surgeon, a builder and an accountant (my husband). One of the hairdressers regularly styles our family's hair, the builder installed our kitchen, and one of the carpenters put up a bannister on our stairs. Not that these people do jobs for members of the church for less than the going rate - they have to make a living - but it's good to have someone you know and trust to ask for advice and expertise.

Plus Mormons, and especially missionaries, love to give service. In just the last few months missionaries have laid my garden path and dismantled an old shed, and yet they still ask us if there is anything else they can help us with. It's traditional in LDS circles that when someone is moving house the men turn out to lend a hand, and the women take casseroles to ladies who have just had a baby.

If you need help, whether paid expertise or voluntary assistance, it's there.

5. Childcare

When my children were small, church was a wonderful oasis of peace. Sacrament meeting was a bit of a struggle, but afterwards there was two hours of nursery for the tiny one, and two hours of Primary for the older two. In other words, I was my own person for two blissful daytime hours. Not only were my children being cared for and educated for free, but I got to sit with actual adults and have real adult conversations. Intellectual in-depth scripture study for the first hour, then wonderful time with the other women for the second hour learning things which were of real benefit to my life and refreshed my flagging spirit. For two wonderful hours I was something more than a meal-provider and nose wiper, I was myself again, a valued member of a Sunday School class and the Relief Society sisterhood.

Later, as the children grew, Young Women doing their personal progress or service projects were always keen to babysit so that my husband and I could have a night out. Motherhood is wonderful, but it doesn't allow for much time off. Mormon mothers get a guaranteed two hours of child-free time each Sunday morning.

6. Education

I'm not talking about the Perpetual Education Fund (which provides funding for education for members of the church in poorer areas) although that's a wonderful programme. I'm thinking now of the extra education I have gained through the church. Just this past Sunday a superb teacher taught me one of a course of lessons on how to teach effectively. I have previously been taught how to understand a time signature and conduct music (although please don't tell my ward or they'll ask me to do it), how to research my genealogy, and many other practical things quite apart from the regular Sunday lessons.

7. Free membership of Ancestry.com

Because the LDS church has contributed so much to the study of genealogy, from photographing church registers to indexing records, Ancestry.com has repaid this effort by giving every member of the church free lifetime membership. All you need is your church membership number and you can log in for free. It's usually around £120 per year, so that's pretty sweet.

8. Free Weddings


My husband and I have now been married for eight years, and our wedding was, to all intents and purposes, free. Because we were members of the church we married in our ward chapel (Temple marriages are not legally recognised in the UK so we were sealed later the same day) and had our reception in the cultural hall. The Bishop gave his services for free of course (he is also a licensed registrar) and the use of the building cost nothing. Members brought food for the reception as their wedding gifts for us (carefully orchestrated by our wedding planner - also a member working for free - so that we got a good mix of fine food) and the florist, cultural hall decorator, videographer and photographer were also members who provided their services free of charge as a gift for us. In the end we paid only for our outfits, rings and the wedding cake.

My eldest daughter is now nineteen, has been with her LDS boyfriend for two years, and they are starting to think about marriage. Naturally they will get married in our ward building, and have their reception in the cultural hall, so again the venue and officiant will be free. When people often spend thousands hiring the venue for the wedding, this is no small advantage. Unfortunately I don't think Gwen wants a bring-a-plate buffet reception...

9. A Career


I always wanted to be a writer, but fifteen years ago when I started it was extremely difficult. You had to write a superb book, and send it (by post) to publishers and agents hoping that one of them might like it enough to offer you a contract. Then, as now, the odds were not in your favour, and the quality of your writing wasn't really the deciding factor - many "slush pile" manuscripts never got read at all.

But (and this is a very personal benefit, so forgive me if it doesn't apply to you) I realised that there was a small niche market which might just be my way into publishing. Latter-day Saints are encouraged to read widely from good books, and they generally prefer not to read books which include sex scenes, violence or bad language, and so there is a thriving market for uplifting and clean LDS books, often featuring LDS characters. With fifteen million potential customers it's not a small market either, and many LDS writers have successfully moved on to become big names in the mainstream market.

I thought - wrongly, as it turned out - that getting published by an LDS publisher would be easier that getting a contract with a mainstream publisher. Actually, the standard has to be just as high, but I was lucky enough to get a contact with Covenant Communications, and have now had five LDS novels published, with more to come. I'm, also starting to publish within the mainstream market although, actually, I have decided that I prefer writing for the LDS audience. Look out for Haven in a bookstore near you soon!

No one joins the LDS church for the social life, the free membership of Ancestry or so that missionaries will paint their fence, but these are, nevertheless, among the many wonderful blessings of being a member of Jesus Christ's restored church.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I wanted to write, but . . .

by Merry Gordon

I usually have a golden hour on Mondays that I set aside for myself to read, to write, to indulge in a bubble bath . . . whatever strikes my fancy.  Unfortunately, more often than not disaster strikes long before my fancy gets a fair hit.  Here’s a tour of yesterday’s golden hour.  Maybe you can relate?


5:18 PM

I want to write. 

But I should probably make my oldest daughter practice piano first. 

She begins pounding out the suite from Downton Abbey on our 108-year-old upright, a violent musical melodrama that rattles its keys down to the pin block and my teeth down to the sockets.
 
I slip into the kitchen and begin popping Advil like Pez.  It’s going to be a long evening.



5:27 PM

I want to write.

But I should probably check my youngest daughter’s homework first. 

Turns out she’s out of books to read for her reading log.  We’re moving in two weeks; we’ve packed almost everything, with the exception of my antique volumes.  By the time I get to her, she’s thumbing her sticky fingered way through my 1753 edition of Restoration dramas. 

“Mommy, why do all the s’s look like f’s?”


She’s just about to use a rare religious tract as a coaster.  A minor heart attack ensues, and within moments my darlings (both darlings—those decked in leather and vellum, and those decked in Hello Kitty) are restored to their rightful places. 

This victory warrants a handful of chocolate chips.

5:35 PM

I want to write. 

But I should probably make sure my son’s finished his snack first. 

He has dubbed today “No Pants Monday.”  He sits on the couch in his underpants with a smug grin and the remnants of his snack.  I say ‘remnants’ because he has long since crushed each Cheerio into a fine beige mist that swirls through the sunlit gaps in our blinds like its own little honey nut weather system.   I could toss him in his room and risk a meltdown, or I could grab the dustbin and be grateful we had the foresight to buy flooring in exactly the same color as most breakfast cereals. 

I settle on the latter.

5:43 PM

I want to write.

But I should probably work out first.  

I think guiltily back to the handful of chocolate chips and do a crunch and a half-hearted squat (which I can’t really count because I’m actually just picking up the kids’ piano books from the floor).  I bookmark a workout video on Youtube and vow to do better tomorrow.

5:45 PM

I want to write.

But I should probably make dinner first.

I start scrolling through Pinterest, determined to find a delectable and healthy recipe for my family like the good Mormon Mommy I am.  The gluten-free vegan eggplant lasagna looks good . . . ooh, wait, is that a Halloween nail tutorial?

6:09 PM

I want to write.

But my husband’s pulling in the driveway.  The garage door opens.  I throw a tray of tater tots in the oven, close out my Pinterest feed (I’ve gone from nail art to cat memes to how to pair patterned tights with flats), and pretend I’ve been answering work emails for the past 20 minutes.

“Hello, love, how was your day?”

I just smile weakly.

6:18 PM

I wanted to write. 

My golden hour’s run out, turned to dusk and bath time and a flurry of lunches to pack for the morning. 

I wanted to write, and I didn’t.

But my oldest daughter’s ready for her piano recital, and youngest daughter learned the meaning of the word ‘cudgel’ before I found her some more grade-appropriate reading material. My son’s chubby thighs are peeking out from his Spider Man undies, and he even helped me sweep up the Cheerio particles.  My own thighs are no smaller today, and it’s tater tots and burgers for dinner, but I did pin a great tutorial on how to stock a small pantry. 



This is just how it goes sometimes.  In the words of John Lennon, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” 


And at the end of the day, I can live with that.



Monday, October 20, 2014

In Which You Don’t Have to Pay $300 for a Writing Conference Because I Went For You (1st Session)



You’re welcome.

:-)

Yes, on Saturday I had the truly wonderful opportunity to attend the James River Writers Conference here in Richmond, VA. From what I’ve seen of other writers conferences, this one is smaller, but even more awesome because everything is so up close and personal. Anytime you can sit and listen to Barbara Kingsolver (of "Poisonwood Bible” fame- yes, pick your jaw up off the floor) chat with Erica Orloff while you’re having lunch at a table with a couple of editors, after which you are going to go have a pitch meeting with an agent...well, let’s just say I call that a good day.

It was a really good day. And I’m sure you’re wondering how my pitch went...well...it was great! The agent really seemed to “get” my book, and she was super nice and asked me some great questions, one of which was about how the love story part of the book turned out in the end and when I told her she said, “Oh, good. That’s what I was hoping for.” :-) She asked me to send her the first 25 pages, so I’ll be doing that this week! Hurrah!!

Okay, back to the rest of the conference. Let’s start with the plenary session: “Ideas Worth Writing.” Stacy Whitman was the first speaker, and she talked about finding your voice. She said:

- Voice must come from the writer: it’s not something that can be edited into existence.

- A story may have been told before, but it’s never been told in your voice. Voice is important!

- READ! Read stuff in your style AND outside your style. Don’t let your voice get completely swallowed up in one style or author.

- WRITE! Use your own experiences and try to “hear” your characters in your head. Take notes of the things people around you say, and their expressions. It’s okay to base your characters off of real-life people.


This is an amazing creation by a very talented artist who drew these visual notes AS the speakers were speaking during the plenary session. It was really something to watch. After it was finished, they had it on display in the lobby. It’s not only fun to look at, but there is some really great advice in there! Click on it to see a larger version.


Moving on to Brian J. Jones, who took his cues from Jim Henson, whose official biography he wrote:

- If it’s something you love enough, you can make a living at it.

- “Puppets without trained puppeteers are a toy box. Writing without trained writers is a phone book.”

- Give yourself permission to really stink at writing- behind closed doors. Apparently when John Lennon was writing “Something in the Way She Moves” he couldn’t think of a good word to come after “attracts me like ____” so someone told him to just put a random word there and move on. The word he chose? “Cauliflower.”

- Jim Henson was constantly told “no.” So he just kept going.

- Be original. Do your OWN thing.

- Have FUN!


Next week I have a very exciting interview for you, but don’t worry, more writing conference notes will come in the weeks to follow!


Sunday, October 19, 2014

Developing Patience

I was recently called to serve in the Young Women organization, and I am thrilled! Today, I am teaching them a lesson on patience.

Last Sunday I was given my topic.  Ever since then my week has gone something like this:

{driving in the car} "Why is this driver going so SLOW?  Aargh! Wait; I'm supposed to be practicing patience this week. OK, I will try really hard to not be annoyed that this driver is GOING SO SLOW!  Take a deep breath..."

Repeat twenty times.

{after asking one of my children to do a task} "It has been, like, 30 seconds!  Why is this kid not jumping up to do what I asked?  I'm supposed to practice patience...how long do I have to wait before I get really annoyed that they aren't doing what I asked?"

Repeat twenty times.

There were many, many scenarios like this one.  I am learning that developing patience takes time.



I feel like I was born with a lot of qualities that come fairly easily to me: optimism, determination, faith, love.  Patience is not in that list.  I could have a LONG road ahead of me. . . .

So, I am looking for some tips and pointers from all of you.  What are ways that you have been able to develop this characteristic in your life?  Come on, help a girl out. . . pretty please (right now!).  :-)

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Genre Dilemma

By Lacey Gunter

So I have this funny picture book manuscript I love. I wrote it for readers ages 6-9. I know 6-9 year-olds still read picture books because I see it all the time, in my house, in the library and at schools. Despite the push for kids to start reading more advanced books at earlier ages, older kids still love picture books and they read them. Even kids that are reading more advanced books often still love a good picture book.

So when I wrote this manuscript, I didn't think it was a big deal targeting it toward 6-9 year-olds.  Then, I went to a little writing retreat a month and a half ago and had the manuscript critiqued by a children's book agent. She thought the manuscript was funny and entertaining, but that is was a little too mature for the 'typical' picture book audience. She felt like that age range was to old of a target audience and that I should consider either turning it into an early chapter book or lower the stakes a little bit and make it more appealing to a younger audience.

I have considered the issue a lot and tried several ideas, all without success. So far, all my attempts at targeting it toward a younger audience have resulted in a loss of the humorous ending and changing the inherent nature of the conflict.  I have tried to infuse the same level of humor in other ways, but they seem to come out too far fetched or they are too flat.  

Similarly, much of the pace, timing and funny ending don't fit well with a longer manuscript. Not to mention that the early chapter book market is even harder to break into than the picture book market, and the picture book market is hard enough as it is.

So I am not sure where to go from here. Do I table the manuscript and try to come back to it at some later date? Do I keep putting effort into trying to make it better fit within a particular genre? Or do I just leave it the way it is and hope that other agents or editors feel differently? I'm not really sure what to do. What do you think? When any of you have faced dilemmas like this, what did you do? The business of writing is so much more complicated than the actual act of writing. Sigh.


Friday, October 17, 2014

Creative Bleeding

by Mare Ball @  ADVENTURES IN THE BALLPARK

I have been a blogging slug lately.  And I'm unhappy about it.

I miss writing.  What I've been doing since July is editing my book, which is really editing pictures, because my book is full of pictures.  Do you know how long it takes to edit a batch of photographs?

At least three months, even though it feels like forever.  I have to confess, my book is becoming a bit of a tyrant.  If I'm working on it, I'm working on it.  If I'm not working on it, it whines from the recesses of my brain, why aren't you working on me? As I drift off to sleep at night, I suddenly get 53 ideas on how to rework a chapter.  At times...it's annoying.

Writing is a strange life.  If you love it, you have to do it.  You can't not do it.  (I think that's how you know you're a writer.)  At the same time, it's a brain drain.  The actual writing skills, the creativity, the editing, the losing material because the computer crashes and you have to start over, the mental gymnastics with the words don't come...it's exhausting.  I know my brain is fit and thin, because it gets a workout every day.  I can't say the same thing about my behind.

Hemingway said, “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

Oh my word, how true!  It looks easy, because you're just sitting there.  My husband just sits there when he's playing Angry Birds.  To an unknowing observer, we're just two slugs sitting there - but my brain is bleeding!  It's cranking and grinding and stretching, and it wears me out. Only another writer can understand why it can be so draining just sitting at the computer (bleeding.)

Having said all that, I continue to plant myself at my computer and bleed - daily.  Because, I love it.  It completes me. (Thank you, Jerry McGuire.)  It transports me and uplifts me and aggravates me all at the same time.  It's similar to motherhood (I wrote about that HERE), which is another bleeding love. 

I had hoped my book would be published by Christmas.  That's not going to happen.  I've had computer issues, and health issues, and my dad has had health issues, and life has rolled right along like no one is trying to finish writing a book.  I really have to fight for writing time; I have to say no to some things, and lose sleep more often than not, and skip healthy meals more often than I want to admit.  (Who has time to roast a chicken and saute veggies when there are granola bars and M&Ms to be had?)

The writing bug has hold of me.  It's in my bones.  It's in my mother's bones, too, so I can blame her for all this wonderful bleeding. She published a book at 84, so I guess I can wait until next Christmas to (hopefully) publish mine.

Plugging away...


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Change of plans...

By: Kristi Hartman

I had big plans for a post today.  I sat down at my kitchen table and started typing out my post, only to have my almost 2 year old look at me with his sad hazel/gray/green eyes (we aren't sure of his eye color, haha) and start to whimper.  I told him to wait just a minute that Mommy was busy right now, but he started crying harder and harder.  A little voice inside whispered to me, 'your little boy needs you right now'.  I normally just try to finish what I am doing, because it kills me to start some project during the day, and not be able to finish it, but I surrendered. That little voice was right.  My little guy is more important than all my little projects, and he needed me right then.   Come to find out, he is coming down with something, and has a high fever.  He just wants to be held.  He just wants to cuddle with someone and feel better.

So, that is what I am going to do.  I am going to enjoy cuddling with my little one, because he will be running away from me around the house again all too soon.

In the meantime, here is a very funny video I came across on NickMom a couple of weeks ago.  Enjoy!

Things You Can't Do When You're Not a Toddler: Watch this video about things you can't do when you're not a toddler, on NickMom!



Monday, October 13, 2014

Pitch Perfect

Six days.

2:08 pm on Saturday.

If you guys could say a little prayer for me right around that time, I sure would appreciate it. Because that’s when I will be sitting across a table from a...(wait for it)...

Literary Agent.

Like, a real live one. Her name is Kaylee Davis. And I’m pitching my book to her at the James River Writers Conference!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I’m all right now.

(I’m not, but let’s just carry on, shall we?)

So in preparation for my Big Meeting (which shall last 7 minutes) I have been doing some research on pitching. I have watched Pitchapalooza videos, read blogs by agents, read do’s and don’ts lists, and gone cross-eyed trying to make sense of it all. Here are a few valuable little nuggets of wisdom I have picked up in my research:

1. Keep it under a minute.

2. It’s okay to go over a minute, just don’t take TOO long.

3. Memorize it.

4. Read it so you don’t forget anything.

5. Give a whole synopsis- beginning, middle, and end, so the agent knows exactly what they’re getting.

6. Just give a hook- make them want to know more.

7. Just relax. It’s like meeting a new friend.

8. Be professional. After all, this is a business meeting.

9. Agents never end up representing authors they meet from pitch sessions at writing conferences, so don’t even bother.

As you can see, some conflicting stuff there. As with most things in life, it just depends on who you ask. So, I had some decisions to make: which advice to take, which to ditch for my pitch?

Obviously I will ignore #9. It might be true but I don’t care. I’m doing it anyway.

As for the rest, I’m planning on doing a little of each. I’d like to keep my pitch brief so I don’t lose the agent’s attention and so that there’s plenty of time for us to chat afterward. But I don’t want to sound like the Micro Machine man, either. And I want to give as much info as I can so we don’t have to waste time on questions I could have easily answered in my pitch. So I’m thinking 2-3 minutes is a good amount of time.

I am going to have my pitch in writing, but I am pretty good at reading while making it sound natural and keeping good eye contact with people. I’ve practiced. My pitch is a combination of a summary and some teasers, so I hope it will give the gist of the book without giving too much away.

As for the casual vs. professional I will lean more toward professional, mostly because Ms. Davis is a business professional and I want to show respect for her work and her position, but I think there is a way to do that while still being warm and making the experience enjoyable.

Okay, so now I need YOUR help:

Here is my pitch. I decided to throw a taste of the voice from my book in there because A) I liked the pitches I heard that had that and B) It helps it be memorable. Can you read it and give me some feedback? (Right now as I read it, it’s clocking in at 2:45.)

My book is a Young Adult paranormal mystery romance that sits at 83,000 words.


It’s about Kate. Kate is weird. She's sixteen and you know how most kids go through an awkward phase around puberty? Well, Kate's awkward phase started around age 2 and never ended. When her mom realized Kate was...different, she very firmly encouraged her daughter to speak as little as possible. And Kate learned the technique very well. 

Well. Except when she's nervous. Then all bets are off. When she's nervous she can't STOP talking and there's no telling what might come out of her mouth.

Yeah. That's kind of the reason she has no friends. Well, no human friends anyway- there is her horse, Mosby. He is a really good listener. And periodically his whinnies almost sort of sound just like "I love you." 

And then there's the ghost.

Well…calling him a friend might be a stretch. He's kind of obnoxious. And broody. And he may or may not be real. Kate can't really be sure but she really really hopes he is real because she thinks he is like, smokin' hot. 

Yeah, you see what I mean? "Smokin' hot?" Who says stuff like "smokin' hot"? Kate does.

Okay, anyway, the ghost, Samuel Montgomery, is quite handsome and tolerates Kate, which is a better deal than she's had thus far in her mostly friendless life. So what if he might have died during the Civil War?

At least, she hopes it was during the Civil War. He may have actually been murdered in a crime of passion by Kate's own great-great-great-grandmother. Most of the small town of Stonemill seems to lean toward that theory, especially the Montgomerys. Turns out, the murder sparked a whole century-long feud between the two families. Which would have been really nice for Kate's mother to tell her before the divorce crash-landed them there, because then maybe then she would be prepared for all of the ready-made enemies that awaited her at Stonemill High. 

At least Stonemill is a beautiful town- it's in Virginia hunt country- ancient oak trees, crumbling stone walls meandering through rolling fields, and all of it steeped in centuries of history and old money. And by old money I mean the Montgomerys' family fortune, of course.

Luckily, there's Alex. And it's weird that I say "luckily", considering the fact that he's a Montgomery. Kate wasn't sure about him at first- well, to be honest she has a really hard time trusting any human who would actually want to be her friend- but there's just something genuine about him. And kind. And warm. And the fact that he shares her love for horses helps quite a bit, too.

But even Kate's relationship with Alex starts to get shaky as things heat up- and when I say heat up, I mean literally. Talk about "smokin' hot". There's a barn fire, a police investigation, poor sweet Mosby gets carted off to who-knows-where, and Kate begins to worry that she might be insane and just not know it yet. 

Well, you know…not that one ever really knows that one has gone insane. 

Kate's 3rd great-grandmother certainly didn't seem to when she went ballistic and murdered poor Samuel.

Kate's mom just says everything's fine. Just keep your mouth shut and everything is always fine

But Kate can't keep her mouth shut. She has to know if her family's past is as messed up as it seems to be. She has to know if she's destined for the same fate. And to find out, she has to stick her neck out much farther than she ever thought she would, and trust in herself far more than she ever dreamed she could.





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